February

It's February. I don't know where my posts have gone in the last month. I sit down and intend to write but I just can't do it, nothing comes streaming out my fingers to put on the page. This morning, I woke up early, well early for me, and left my room to go hide in the caverns of the library. I hid in the darkness till almost 9:30, and left to go have counseling.
Too bad I don't believe in drugs, or I'd already be on them. That's the only conclusion I have made from 45 minutes of tears and saying, again, that my family is the reason that I am fucked up.
I have so much homework to do, none of which is getting done fast enough, or good enough. At school I don't fit in anymore. I just think Concordia is terminating me, before I can terminate it.
All I really need right now is a reboot. Something to get me back on my feet. Something to help me get through the next 3 months.
I hate writing posts like this. But sometimes, you can't prevent the words that your fingers type on screen. Your subconscious just takes over all your motor skills and you just have to go with it.
Don't hit delete. Don't say no. Just go.

Deadline

I was supposed to figure out my future by today. I don't think it's going to happen. Hopefully, with rolling in the New Year an idea will come to me.

In Between

My Christmas this year new and different. I woke up at my Nana's house to a terrible cold and a hope chest. After taking lots of cold medicines, eating a bagel and chugging down a cup of coffee I was off to Queens. I went out to an Indian buffet for lunch, hung out with Matt for a few hours and went to see Bedtime Stories. Overall, I have to say that Christmas was pretty good this year, if only for doing not so Christmasy things on the 25th.
What is strange is that I feel like this was my last Christmas as a kid. My last one that I am still living at home and doing all my mom's traditions. Next year Christmas will me mine to have my own tree and spend anyway that I like. I think it will be nice.

I view my life in pictures.

http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=384

Where am I?

beep bo beep boo bee boop boop er er diing boingg boinnng crrr errrr grrrr. Dial Up. I am writing from dial up. I don't have much to write about since I am in Pennslyvania. Not like Scranton, or Philly, not even State College. I am 45 minutes from Dunkin Donuts, Blockbuster, Walmart. Everything. To go from the bustle of New York to here is hard. My mom thinks I am crazy. Cause I prefere the company of cars and people to the quiet of farm country.

White Noise?

The mindless chatter of the library. Boys talking about 120 dollar teapots. Smelling like Abercrombie and making the shittest looking power point I’ve ever seen. Since when have neon gradient font been acceptable on a neon gradient backround? Maybe I shouldn't be glancing over to their computer, but the colors! And even better the presentation was about Malaria. Awesome. This group was debating weither "laundry list" or "heavy toll" was a more accurate description of the destruction Malaria causes. I hope they will be able to finish their power point soon and head over to The Westchester to exchange their Armani Exchange Shirt and get their iPhones fixed.

Quote of the Day: "I've had a blowout since Kindergarten"